By Paul Donald
15:11, 9 Nov 2023
Excluding a child considered to be part of the family from what should be a joyous occasion led to one social-media poster being pulled up by her fellow users
A social-media poster excluded her 'adopted sister' from her wedding photo (
Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
A bride has revealed how she banned her 'adopted' sister from appearing in one of her wedding photos simply because she doesn't like her. The 26-year-old woman says that she felt Ally, 14, had been "foisted' onto her and her parents and that at after the ceremony she wanted to have a picture with just her "immediate family", but forcing that to happen has put her in conflict with much of the rest of her family.
She said that Ally is related to her because, "my younger brother Michael, 24, has been with his wife Maya since their freshman year of high school. Maya, 24, and (her younger sister Ally) had a really bad home life and my mum is very much a 'my home is open to everyone' type of person, so over that year Maya began spending more and more time at our house, eventually bringing Ally over as well since she was always babysitting".
She continued: "My mum and dad say that they love both Maya and Ally like their own children. My other siblings, 18 and 16, also treat her like she's a part of the family. Even after Maya and Michael moved out, Ally is still at their house the same amount, if not more than she was before."
The bride said that she has nothing against the youngster, but says she has "never really liked how she was foisted into her life" She added: "She's not actually adopted and she still has parents and her own family. Yet my parents spend so much time and resources on her, it's ridiculous. Everyone else has started un-ironically calling her their daughter or sister and I've refused. I just don't consider her to be family."
When the woman got married, that's where all the family troubles began, as, while she invited Ally to the wedding, she wanted to get a 'close' family photograph, so demanded that the 14-year-old was not part of it. This made her mother very upset and also the rest of her family.
She said: "Ultimately, we took the photo how I wanted it because they 'didn't want to do this at my wedding' but my entire family is p****d at me now. My mum said that Ally cried when she got home because I don't love her, which I don't. I feel like they forced me into a position where I had to do an a*****e thing by forcing this kid onto me. I don't think I should have to consider her family if I don't want to."
Other posters were almost unanimous in disagreeing with the action the user took, with one saying: "Max she would have been indifferent. Yet she is very much part of the family. While from the poster's actions seems she really resents this girl. Like Jesus, take a picture with the girl and a few without her. I mean wedding pictures are a you in/you out so everybody is happy. She already had a family photo taken so this was totally uncalled for… pure free pettiness."
And another said: "The comment from the poster about her 'having her own family' shows how much she does not understand the circumstances. If she is 'unofficially' adopted into another family without her parents even giving custody, or being present, they are not her family, they are just birthers. She doesn't have to embrace her as a sister but it's f****d up to imply she could be with her 'own' family when they are clearly extremely neglectful and absent. What family? The girl has no one but her sister, and some people who don't even care where she sleeps."
However, after seeing the comments from other users of the site, the poster added: "I was 16-18 when Ally started coming around a lot and I didn't form the same bond everyone else did. I never super-liked being around kids, including my sister who by all accounts behaved way worse than Ally ever did. But I recognise that she's become a part of our family. And I think I'm going to make more of an effort to get to know her properly, because I do know she is very mature and intelligent for her age."