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Walsall couple share struggles of starting a family

By Rakeem Omar & Oprah Flash

BBC WM, Presenter

Vik and Sarina Dosanjh have launched a support group to help others struggling with fertility

A Walsall couple have had their struggle to start a family filmed for a BBC documentary.

Sarina and Vik Dosanjh, both aged 30, wanted to have three children by the age of 31.

But they suffered three miscarriages in five years and have decided to start In vitro fertilisation (IVF).

Their journey, and how it was impacted by their Sikh faith, is to be shown in an episode of Love, Faith and Me on BBC One.

"Infertility within the Sikh community is still very much a taboo subject, it is very much brushed under the carpet," Mrs Dosanjh said.

Her husband added: "The Asian community is quite superstitious, if someone is struggling to have a child, it's almost like you can't go near them with a barge pole, they're bad luck to you."

Sarina and Vik Dosanjh have now started IVF

Navigating struggles with fertility amid restrictions and lockdowns during the Covid-19 pandemic proved to be challenging.

"The first loss was the most difficult. Sarina had to go to the hospital and all the appointments herself, I felt quite helpless as a partner," Mr Dosanjh told BBC Radio WM.

"The second time we went through a miscarriage, we were able to grieve together.

"Because of the situation we're in, we both had issues. Sarina had a low egg count and I had a low sperm count, but in that you find solace... you can both fix these problems together and move forward."

'A bigger plan'

His wife added: "It's really hard to hold on to hope but there's a bigger plan, God has a plan for us."

Their faith has played a huge role in helping them to get through the series of miscarriages and allowed them to find peace, they said.

"I really struggled at the beginning with faith, I was angry at God and questioned why it was happening to us, but I trusted Vik and now believe faith is the most important thing and we have to hold on to that," Mrs Dosanjh said.

Wanting to turn the experience into a positive, in line with the Seva of Sikhism - duty to do good to others - they have set up on an online support group.

The Himmat Collective provides space for people from Punjabi and South Asian communities who struggle with fertility or experience loss.

"Sharing our story helps couples to realise that they are not alone and unfortunately, it is very normal," Mrs Dosanjh said.

Their story features in the Married, Sikh and Wanting A Baby episode which airs on Wednesday at 22:40 BST.

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