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'We're putting our baby up for adoption - she's not a good fit for the family'


Paige Freshwater Content Editor

4:01, 15 Feb 2024

The couple placed their three-month-old up for adoption to get their old lives back (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

A dad has sparked outrage after revealing he and his wife are putting their three-month-old daughter up for adoption because she's 'not a good fit' for their family

A couple has sparked outrage after deciding to put their three-month-old baby up for adoption because she 'doesn't fit in well' with their family. The dad took to Reddit to share the shocking story, explaining that his wife, Catherine, 33, returned to work just two weeks after giving birth and their daughter, Elizabeth, is primarily cared for by her grandmother.

He said: "I go to work later than her [my wife] so I take morning duty, but she gets home earlier than I do so she takes evening duty. During the day, Elizabeth stays with my mother-in-law." However, he noticed that Catherine was neglecting their newborn's emotional needs. "Catherine really doesn't have anything to do with her. Even if she is crying, unless it's for a real reason (like being hungry or wet), Catherine doesn't do anything to soothe her," the 35-year-old added.

"I know that babies sometimes cry for no reason and that picking Elizabeth up every time she cries could reinforce the crying, shouldn't she at least pick her up and soothe her a bit? Plus, even when she's not crying, Catherine doesn't interact with her." Finding it hard to connect with their baby girl and longing for their old life back, the couple decided to put their three-month-old up for adoption. Before taking this step, the dad sought advice from Reddit users about the adoption process.

He asked: "I will be consulting a lawyer this week, but prefer to go in with some idea of what to expect. My wife and I wish to place our three-month-old daughter up for adoption. Are there any laws that could impact this process? Could members of our family file against our decision to adopt out? How long can we expect the entire process to take?"

Reddit users were taken aback and questioned how they came to this decision. The dad confessed that their daughter is "not a good fit for the family", and having a baby has made "taking holidays awkward for his wife".

He shared: "My wife broke the news to my mother-in-law of our decision to adopt. She reacted poorly, which is to be expected, and with a great deal of yelling. This did not endear her to my wife, who finds yelling annoying, but attempts to placate the yelling resulted in more yelling."

He continued: "In short, my mother-in-law first blamed her deceased ex-husband for my wife 'turning out like this' and then myself for our decision. I was called a number of names, and learned that my mother-in-law had disapproved of me from the start of the relationship, and otherwise trashed."

"It went on to the point that Catherine eventually threatened to ensure my mother-in-law never saw our daughter again if she would not be reasonable. That quieted my mother-in-law enough for my wife to layout how the upcoming months would go."

The couple then told the mother-in-law she could adopt Elizabeth if she wanted, otherwise, she would be placed with another family. "Our daughter was going up for adoption; this was non-negotiable. My mother-in-law, having assisted in her care, could take custody if she so wished."

"My sister-in-law would be a permissible alternate. Otherwise, we would pursue outside arrangements. As many predicted, my mother-in-law opted to assume custody herself and we started that process after Thanksgiving."

After hearing this, the mother-in-law took the three-month-old baby, left the house and stayed in a hotel. "Shortly thereafter, my sister-in-law called, in the end, she threatened to call the police if we attend [family gatherings]," he said.

"Communication from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law has been sparse since my mother-in-law left/ From what we know, she and Elizabeth are staying with my sister-in-law for the time being. Moving forward, we are cooperating as much as possible to ensure the transition of legal custody over Elizabeth goes smoothly."

"My mother-in-law thus far refused any and all offers of financial aid, but we are prepared to [pay child support if/when the time arrives." Some people praised him for 'saving his daughter from a lifetime of misery', while others criticised him for 'not even trying to be a parent' before giving up.

One person commented: "I don't understand why everyone is so mad. They're s****y parents and realise that. The kid is probably better off being put up for adoption." Another said: "Therapy has not been tried by either parent. Therapy needs to be tried."

A third asked: "Now this is an odd situation. Would it be better for a pair of parents who are willing to send off their three-month-old child for whatever sociopathic reason to continue to raise said child, or should they go through with the adoption, preventing the child from being raised by a bunch of weirdos?"

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