Forced adoption scandal: 'I deserve an apology for my stolen childhood'
- 2 days ago
- 7 min read
Thursday 27 February 2025 at 12:02pm
The children affected, now adult adoptees, told ITV News Social Affairs Correspondent Sarah Corker of their ‘lifetime of trauma’ as they continue to search for answers
Victims of "industrial scale" forced adoptions in the 1950s, 60s and 70s are increasing the pressure on the UK government to formally apologise for the state’s role in the practice.
Hundreds of thousands of mothers were pressured or coerced into putting their babies up for adoption between 1949 and 1976 in the UK because they were unmarried.
The children affected, now adult adoptees, have told ITV News they have endured a "lifetime of trauma" and are still "searching for answers".
As well as an official apology, the Adult Adoptee Movement is campaigning for better mental health support, easier access to adoption records and families' medical histories, as well as free DNA testing for adoptees.
Su Chantry was adopted when she was six weeks old from a mother and baby home in Grimsby.
Her mother Kay, who was aged 17 and unmarried when she became pregnant in 1968, was pressured to put her daughter up for adoption shortly after birth.
“It was very isolating for her, a shame to the family,” Su told ITV News.
"She was just treated like a criminal. I felt guilty that her situation had arisen from my conception."
It was when Su had her own children, that she decided to trace her birth mother and for years they exchanged letters and spoke on the phone, but never met.
“We were both fearful of rejection and making a bond if we physically met, so we were like pen pals really,” she said.
Then one day, came an unexpected phone call that changed everything.
Su as a baby, photographed with her birth mother, Kay, who was 17 years old.Credit: Supplied / ITV News
“I got a call from Peterborough hospital, they said ‘your mum is asking for you, and you need to come now,’" Su said.
When she went to her mother’s bedside she found her gravely ill.
“I’d scooped up some letters that we’d shared, I brushed her hair, read the letters … I just cuddled up with her, that’s my memory of my birth mum. It was the first time we met, and she passed away that night.”
Su later registered her mother’s death describing their final hours together as their "connecting moment".
“The drama of meeting your mum on the day she passes away … it’s another separation in life, that is like a knife in the heart in terms of your adoption journey."
Debbie Iromlou: 'I feel stuck between two worlds'
It took Debbie Iromlou nearly 40 years to trace her birth family - a journey which took her halfway across the world.
Growing up in Suffolk in the 1960s and 70s, she had no idea that the mother raising her was not her biological mother.
It was only when Debbie turned 16 and her foster mother had made a request to formally adopt her that the truth came out.
“I was raised not knowing anything about my background, just that I looked different," Debbie told ITV News.
"I was raised as my adoptive mother’s daughter and told that I was mixed race. I’m still living with the consequences of that lie."
“Social services knew I had been deceived throughout my childhood, but they did not tell me the truth,” she added.
The truth was that Debbie’s parents were from the Middle East, and in 1968 her unmarried mother had concealed her pregnancy and boarded a plane from Kuwait to London.
Ten days after Debbie’s birth, a private adoption agency placed her in foster care.
“To find out you come from a country thousands of miles away and you have no knowledge of the culture or the language, it’s really hard to live with,” Debbie said.
Debbie Iromlou (right) and her birth mother in at their reunion in 1992.
Credit: Supplied
“I feel like I am stuck between two worlds and not belonging to either of them.”
As a transracial intercountry adoptee, Debbie, now 56, said there is "no help" and "limited access to adoption records" to help trace birth relatives.
Her search took her across the Middle East, including Iraq, Iran, and Kuwait, before finding her mother in Egypt.
“She was full of shame and guilt for what she had done to me and I was so traumatised as well," Debbie said.
"The two of us looking at each other, same colour, everything so similar, but she was a complete stranger."
As a result of her adoption and the trauma that followed, Debbie has faced a lifetime of struggles with her mental health, and has now been diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
As co-founder of the Adult Adoptee Movement, she is now campaigning for easier access to adoption records and medical histories, describing the current system as a "fight for information", as well as an official government apology "for the childhood that was stolen from me".
Andrew Glen: 'I was told I was special because I was chosen'
Andrew Glen was adopted when he was ten days old. Born in Hull in 1961, he recalled how his adoptive parents told him that he was "special" because he was "chosen."
"But in my head, I was thinking, what’s wrong with me because I was given away," Andrew told ITV News.
It was during the pandemic that Andrew decided to find out more about his birth mother and the circumstances of his adoption.
A backlog of cases and "being at the bottom of a long list of priorities" at the social services department meant he had to wait more than two years to receive even a basic summary of his adoption file.
When he did eventually receive his documents, they revealed for the first time the names his birth mother had given him and the fact that he had two birth certificates.
He also learnt that his birth mother was from Middlesbrough and was married with two daughters when she fell pregnant with him. "I was a product of an affair," he said.
Efforts then turned to tracing his biological family, with limited progress so far.
“My birth mum died at 99 in 2022 - had the process been quicker then who knows," he said.
"I’ve got these two half-sisters and I’ve reached out to them, but no one has replied to anything we’ve sent."
Andrew’s adoption journey has had a profound impact on his life and his relationships with others.
“I’ve definitely suffered from relinquishment trauma, it’s had a massive effect on me, but it’s something that’s not really understood by professionals that are supposed to support you.
“I’ve regarded my adoption differently at different stages of my life. Having my own daughter was a pivotal moment for me, as for the first time I was looking at a genetic mirror of myself.”
Vik Fielder: ‘I was described as an average working class, mixed race baby’
Born in London in 1971, Vik Fielder was taken away from her mother as a newborn baby because she was young and unmarried. At just seven days old, Vik who is bi-racial, was adopted by white parents and brought up in Somerset.
Her adoption files show the attitudes of the time as she was described by social workers as "only an average, working class, mixed race baby".
The experience of transracial adoption "added additional layers to an already complex situation" and Vik first experienced mental health problems at the age of 13.
“Growing up in Somerset as a child of colour was hard. It’s almost as if your cultural identity is erased,” she told ITV News.
On the racism she experienced as a child, she said: "I’ve heard every name under the sun. It was pretty rampant.”
Vik's adoption files show the attitudes of the time and how she was described by social workers.
Credit: ITV News
Vik, who is 53, described her "lifelong battle" with mental health, therapy, counselling and struggling with her own identity.
She said: “It’s really hard to form an identity because you don’t know who you are or where you’ve come from. We should never have been taken from our parents. It was wrong."
As an adult, she traced her mother using DNA but there was to be no reunion.
“She had passed away in 1992 from an overdose, driven by the fact she had to give me up … it’s devastating,” Vik added.
Her birth father, who had moved back to Jamaica, died during the pandemic before they had a chance to meet.
Vik Fielder as a child in Somerset.
Credit: Supplied / ITV News
Campaigners like Vik believe that single mothers and children were "forced apart" because of government legislation and adoption policy, and as a result, the state was part of the "adoption machine" and have a "duty to apologise".
In 2021, an inquiry by the Joint Committee of Human Rights concluded that the state bore ultimate responsibility for the suffering inflicted on vulnerable women and their children, calling on the government to issue an official apology. Those affected are still waiting.
When asked why an apology had not been forthcoming from Westminster, the Education Secretary Bridget Philipson told ITV News that the practice was "utterly shocking" and her department was "looking very carefully at next steps, and we do hope to be able to say more soon to respond precisely to the question around what that means for redress”.
If you have been affected by the issues in this report, please see the help links below:
Adult Adoptee Movement - provides links to resources offering information and support for adoptees in the UK.
Adoption Apology - provides information on forced and coerced adoption in the UK and around the globe.
Safe Spaces - an independent service offering confidential support to survivors of Church-related abuse on 0300 303 1056 or on their website.
NHS - If you need help for a mental health crisis or emergency, you should get immediate expert advice and assessment. Guidance on what support services are available for you can be found on the NHS website.
PAC UK - Specialist therapy, advice, support, counselling and training for all affected by adoption and permanency.
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